WHY KILLING BABY WITHOUT A FIGHT

 


WHY KILLING BABY WITHOUT A FIGHT

Holding a white plastic pearl. Hand shakes as the gaze nailed the two red lines marked in the middle. The young lady looked at the young man. Brought tears to my eyes. “I’ll buy another one,” the animal’s tongue in the face filled with doubt and fear. It's getting out of the house in a hurry. Take a ride on a motorcycle. That was the last encounter with the young lady's gun. Stuck away from their mother and daughter. Often dismissed, just in case it returns. But bigo.

Tight. Dark. The place was covered in water but it was hot enough not to do my nude overall. Obviously the body isn't fully prepared to bear someone like me. Not sure if the heart and mind are ready either. Even though it's quiet inside I know - I feel , I'm merely a product of daring desires. I feel what you feel. Happiness. Angry. Fear. Sad. Apparently the pussy attached to my stomach to where there is a reason to understand you. To feel you.

Your womb became my temporary home. Often the nutrition we share is not enough. But I don't know. I feel like this is still the safest place on earth. The joy it gives is the nutrition I serve. The protection it provided served as the reason I felt your love. Something I thought was true.

Days go by , I feel the tightness of the place. Maybe but I'm growing up. Or maybe because I feel like you don't want me here anymore. Instead of vitamin white tablet you take every day. Every drop of a piece of this spoke to me of your loathing. In your anger and grief. Hours after you take those little white pills I'm slowly starting to feel the pain. Feels like my skin is tearing up. It's like burning my bones ,it's like clenching my flesh,it's like choking my neck. My breathing is speeding faster. My heart is beating fast. It hurts. It hurts so much. But nothing hurts more than knowing that you regret ending up with someone like me. Pain that words can't describe A pain like no other. It hurts to cling to the hope of being your shoulder. It hurts that only tears can answer. I hope you will draw strength and hope to rise.

I want you to know that I forced myself to fight to survive — even if you didn't want to. I am hard headed. Will you blame me if I want to see your face , your eyes looking at me, your sweet smiles. Would you blame me if I just wanted to feel your lips smothering my forehead before sleeping at night. I dream to be called "mother". I wish to hear that with both of your ears. I dream of feeling that besides inside your belly there is still a safe place in the world – in your arms. I tried to fight just to love you. I want you to feel that. I wish you'd given me a chance.

As your stomach gets bigger so does the anger in your heart. Nevertheless, I still choose to listen to every beat of it even though all I hear is deafening hatred. It's so nice to know that sometimes our hearts beat together even though we say different things.

One day, while I was silently counting our heartbeats, something suddenly hurt my chest. I didn't know you were taking the white pill again. My heart beat faster. Way too fast. Up to the slow down. Take two more. It's getting slower. Partly stopping. Stabbed a few tablets even without water. I love you. The pain made me cry. Tears came out of my eye were red. Heart beat getting weaker earlier. It's getting slower. Disappearing. It's gone.

Where is heaven really mom?

They say babies are angels sent from heaven. I didn't expect that I would go back there so soon.

Will we ever see each other?

I wish. -MJ

Please DON'T KILL A BABY WITHOUT A FIGHT

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For those who think this is just a waste of time... y'all can get this out your face and ignore. But to those who love God, please spread this simple message so all the youth will wake up to the truth .. .

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